crazy loud fun

A baby. Apparently that’s what it takes to slow me down. A little boy baby with curious eyes, a dimpled chin, and arms that squeeze.

Last night I took a break from Christmas. I took a break from homemade gifts, silver ribbons, wrapping paper. I took a break to see my college friend Jenny and her son Victor, who were both hanging out at home on a not-so-snowy Pittsburgh Tuesday.

Sometimes, this scene doesn’t even look real to me – Jenny, who we used to call “Crazy Jenn” in college, with a little boy in her arms (there may have been boys in her arms in college but.. she certainly didn’t give birth to them). What I remember of Jenny is long talks in the hallway between our rooms junior year of college. Dancing and singing (to “My Humps”) at any hour of the day. Crunk Tuesdays down the street. Going to a club in England and being idolized for being Americans. Trips to the local Indiana mall on the school bus (it was always a bust). And just laughing. A whole lot of laughing.

Like any friendship, we had our down moments, too. I remember one blow-out fight that resulted in her leaving the house in a flurry. There was some yelling. I was kind of a jerk. Later, we both apologized to each other. Water under the bridge now.

Now when I visit Jenny it’s all about kids, mortgage┬ápayments, and credit card debt.

The days of our college “crazy loud fun” are starting to slowly disappear. But honestly? I’m okay with that.

That little baby boy made me think. Sometimes I imagine that I will have a baby and it will be completely different than everyone else’s experiences. The baby will be quiet, well-behaved, and will never wake me up in the middle of the night. Sort of like having an adult that’s in the form of a baby. I’ll keep living this lifestyle: going to the gym, working on crafts, spending a lot of time with just me.

But then I see my friends with their kids and realize I will never escape the time and dedication that comes with child-rearing. Someday, I will join the rest of them. I will spend my evenings with a little babe on my hip, completely unable to get the things accomplished I do now. And by then, I will be content with that. Happy even, I bet.

Until then, I’m going to continue the crazy, loud, fun times in my late 20s. More likely in a muted manner, but in CLF style nonetheless.

[Disclaimer: Crazy, Loud, Fun, was a catch-phrase coined in college by Cat and Sam. They were looking for it one night, and I think they found it for the next four years. We named our softball team CLF {we never played a game} and continued to make shirts for each year and each wedding that followed.]



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2 Comments on “crazy loud fun”

  1. December 21, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    One of my craziest friends has a 3 year old and is pregnant with her second kid. It’s so strange to me, even now and I’m 33.

  2. December 22, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    I love this story. My CLF lifestyle is definitely slowing down, but it’s always there as a part of me. I don’t know if I will rear children, but I can’t wait until babies come into my life through friends or family. Perhaps someday I will adopt one.

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